First thing that comes to mind is not “No thanks”

THE MILLIONAIRESS comes bearing a more than reasonable pedigree: a George Bernard Shaw play begetting a screenplay from Wolf Mankowitz, directed by Anthony Asquith, photographed by Jack Hildyard, edited by Anthony Harvey, starring Sophia Loren and Peter Sellers. Alas, much of much & not enough: a raft of A-grade productions shipped from England in 1960; this not one of them. *

London heiress ‘ Epifania Ognissanti di Parerga’ (Loren) is the richest woman in the world. Yet marital bliss eludes her. Her fathers’ will stipulates she cannot marry unless the prospective suitor is able to grow £500 into £15,000 in three months time. A few dunks in the Thames, first hers, then her psychiatrists, end with poor-but-honest slum physician ‘Ahmed el Kabir’ (Sellers, Indian accent adorned) as her choice. Spoiled, imperious, smart and sexy as sin, she bombards him with temptation—physical, practical, professional and financial—yet he resists. Right, a rich Sophia Loren desires you to bed & wed—and you say nix? WTF? May as well be science-fiction.

“You’re not a man, you’re an Englishman!”

Written in 1936, Shaw’s social satire/culture clash romance may have played puckish in earlier days and on stage, but despite all the talent involved, the re-tweaked elements don’t jell judiciously on screen. The pacing is slow, the editing jerky, direction stiff. Sellers plays it so straight it may as well be a drama. Loren is inviting (decked out in lavish costumes and then, par for the course, frequently revealed teasingly) and gives it her best, but she and her garb fight a losing battle against material that never picks up the required steam.

Though successful in Britain, it lagged in the States, $2,900,000 placing 79th. Loren had spectacularly arrived internationally in 1957 with a much-publicized three-fer of colorful dramas Boy On A Dolphin, The Pride And The Passion and Legend Of The Lost, but after a comedy hit in Houseboat, she went thru several misfires—Desire Under The Elms, The Black Orchid, The Key, That Kind Of Woman—until 1960 when she was in five movies. This didn’t do much, nor did A Breath Of Scandal. The offbeat western Heller In Pink Tights was underrated, and there was a bright comedy with Clark Gable, It Started In Naples. But the triumphant score was the powerful WW2 drama Two Women, which won her an Oscar, critics respect and superstardom/icon status. Sellers big international break was a few years down the line. **

With Vittorio De Sica, Alistair Sim, Dennis Price, Noel Purcell, Gary Raymond, Alfie Bass, Miriam Karlin, Graham Stark, Diana Coupland and Roy Kinnear.

* Expert exports from the Mother Country in 1960—Sons And Lovers, Sink The Bismarck!, Village Of The Damned, The Trials Of Oscar Wilde, Never Let Go, Tunes Of Glory, Saturday Night And Sunday Morning, The Day They Robbed The Bank Of England.

** Fringe benefit/fringe behavior—one thing Sellers, 34, did get out of working with Sophia was heartache; like her earlier co-star Cary Grant he was utterly smitten, but Peter was nuttier than Cary and his adoration (he was married—unhappily—as was she—happily) got wacky enough that it put her off ever working with him again: she later turned down A Shot In The Dark, which went to Elke Sommer–who then got the same mad-crush treatment. Acknowledging the actresses justified discomfort, we can grasp that a guy might go gaga.

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