HERCULES UNCHAINED, unleashed in 1959, was the immediate sequel to 1958’s surprise hit Hercules, goofiness that forged an instant star in amiable bodybuilder Steve Reeves and thus opened the gates to a horde of chest & breast adventures from Italy. They made producers rich, tantalized hormone-fluttering kids and tarnished critics responses to some of the actual worthy epics set in ancient epochs. By the time its run finished this doozy grossed $7,100,000: behold a 97-minute cheese buffet, a testosterone treat to treasure.

Directed by Pietro Francisci and (uncredited) Mario Bava, written by Francisci and Ennio De Concini. Concini moved upscale with Divorce Italian Style and later The Red Tent but he cut his teeth on a slew of tacky toga parties like this (15 scripts in ’60 alone). This one’s a howler, cheekily insisting at the outset that it was based on plays by Sophocles and Aeschylus. Yeah, like my résumé is accurate.

The story picks up from the previous Hercle jerking with fellow cast members Sylva Koscina (‘Iole’) and Gabriele Antonini (‘Ulysses’) joining Reeves. En route to settle a who-rules-Thebes spat between brothers, Hercules is waylaid by ‘Omphale’ (Sylvia Lopez), the S-for-Seductive Queen of Lydia. A magic elixir erases Hercules memory and strips him of power, with the hot-to-bop Omphale intent on ‘using him up’ (cough..) and then turning him into a statue piece like her numerous ex-conquests. So she’s not just avariciously lustful but is obviously ahead of her time. Meanwhile Iole (aka Mrs. Hercules) is captive to power-crazed ‘Eteocles’ (Sergio Fantoni) who enjoys feeding underlings to tigers. All this and prancing maidens, the show-off bending of things made of iron, hefting thousand-pound statues to throw at foolish guards and much declaiming often followed by laughter that’s either hearty or sinister.

Terrible dubbing helps make this a lot of fun. Statuesque and provocative French actress Lopez, 26, tragically passed away from leukemia the same year this came out. Even with the lame dubbing she holds her own, as does Fantoni (going bad-guy bonkers), 29; he’d later score international recognition in Von Ryan’s Express and What Did You Do In The War, Daddy? For some reason Ulysses, instead of the rugged adventurer as played by the likes of Kirk Douglas, Sean Bean and Armand Assante, is here depicted as a wimpish clown, a Bronze Age Jerry Lewis. Also in the mix is former heavyweight champ Primo Carnera, as brutish oaf Antaeus who has a laughably loutish bout with Hercules.

Sylvia Lopez, 1933-1959

The advertising taglines alone are testaments to chutzpah (or the Greco-Roman/Hollywoodian equivalent) that would stir the Gods themselves. A few—“Spectacles of Massive Might Beyond Any Ever Known Before!”  “SEE the War of the Chariots! SEE Lydia, the Temptress! SEE the Contest of Giants! SEE the Combat of Kings! SEE the Arena of Tigers! SEE the Court of Lovers!”  “Now…For The First Time…Flooding The Nations Screens!”  “Fabulous feats of human power the screen has never shown before!”  See! a lot of kids getting mixed messages about where they would eventually pitch their tents! Get! that it doesn’t need to matter!

Hysterical Historical question #3,000 B.C.—when did the population reach the point where they started giving people last names?  Reeves name conjures up the days of colorfully silly spectacles; he grinned & grimaced in four more that year alone, flexing and fighting his way through The White Warrior, Goliath And The Barbarians, The Last Days Of Pompeii and The Giant of Marathon.

Others enslaved to the dubbing include Mimmo Palmera, Daniele Vargas and Fulvia Franco. An hour and a half of mighty mirth, best beheld with comrades so the chuckles get contagious.