Gawd-damm, do I be hatin’ on this shit

TAKERS —–decent cast in a 2010 heist movie that could serve as a textbook example of how to make something derivative. Contrivance reigns from Scene 1. Four guys who we won’t bother to list helped director John Luessenhop mash up the ridiculous script for this foolishness. His use of millisecond editing cuts and jangling camera might as well scream “LOOK AT ME DIRECTING”!  There are any number of well-made crime flicks you could while away time with other than wasting 107 minutes on this, which makes poor use of Matt Dillon, Paul Walker, Idris Elba, Jay Hernandez, Hayden Christensen and Zoe Saldana.  Oh, that punkass Chris Brown is in it, too—another reason to skip out.

Never seen this move before

Spilled was $32,000,000, taken (no kidding) was $69,100,000. “We’re takers, gents. That’s what we do for a living. We take.”  Dhuamn!, Hom’z, I wonder how they came up with the scene where the ‘crew’ walks away from the exploding helicopter, without bothering to look back over their so-cool shoulders in—wait for it—slo-motion.  Then they get in their hot cars and drive off.  ‘That’s, like, so dope, know what I’m sayin’?   Yeah, actually, I think I do. Best line in the film sums it up:  “Shit is bleak out there.”  Cheer up, taker dude, cuz director Luessenhop would return with Texas Chainsaw 3D. Damn, that shit be harsh.

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