NEVER BEEN KISSED, a make-up-for-high school-misery comedy from 1999, starts wobbly and draws things out a bit at 107 minutes, but thanks to the charm of its leading lady it gets past its flaws and ends on an appropriately satisfying note. Though there is some teen meanness to witness/relive it also serves as a valentine to many who suffered thru the institutional processing plants/obstacle courses that are meant to bring kids from playgrounds to the doors of adulthood. For many it’s a rite-of-passage that leaves a lasting mark.
‘Josie Geller’ (Drew Barrymore, 23) slaves away as a copy editor for the Chicago Sun Times, hoping to get a shot at showing that she can write as well or better than those reporters whose stories she corrects and polishes. The chance comes when the chief editor assigns her to do an undercover piece at a local high school. Josie at 25 is still able to pass as younger (per movie logic) but is painfully awkward (she’s never been smooched, for, like, ‘real’) and the re-immersion into the hazing machine of the hallways, bathrooms and gym brings back painful memories of the awful time she spent when she was a gawky student, dorky and vilified by the ‘cool kids’. She finds empathy and appreciation from one of the nerd contingent (Leelee Sobieski, 15) and a likable teacher (Michael Vartan, 29) who is impressed because Josie is the only one in his class who seems to have a brain. Can her subterfuge last long enough to survive the nasty girls (Marley Shelton, Jessica Alba and Jordan Ladd) and deliver a story that will please the boss and keep her from getting canned? Guess.
Directed by Raja Gosnell, written by the team Abby Kohn & Marc Silverstein, it’s better than it has a right to be (check their other credits for proof) and misses as many pitches as it connects, but Barrymore’s glow, openness and willingness to look goofy carries it across the finish line. She’s also quite touching in the dramatic moments (recalling teen torment at her expense). There is also good work from Molly Shannon as one of Josie’s co-workers at the newspaper. Fun pop soundtrack, and composer David Newman brings in the strings when needed. The ending credits are cleverly done.
Done for $25,000,000, the global gross hit $84,600,000 and it ranked 43rd on home turf, not bad considering the year held more than a hundred comedies. With David Arquette, John C. Reilly (not much of a role), Jeremy Jordan, Cress Williams, Garry Marshall (loud and grating as usual), Octavia Spencer, Sean Whalen, Carmen Llywelyn. James Franco, 20, makes his feature debut.
* Yeah, high school. Not part of the ‘cool’ crowd, I made it okay (thanks to friends) but clearly recall an example of collective malice that was perpetrated by a significant portion of the senior class. There was a girl who was, well, ungainly—bad teeth, lank hairdo, and ill-chosen clothes (she was clearly from a poor family) and even had a name that was set up for mocking. I wonder if she had a single friend. The smug jocks, snotty cheerleaders and cretinous hangers-on decided on something hilarious: they voted this tragic kid as Homecoming Princess. A real hoot, right? Bastards: I sincerely hope they all got leukemia, disfigurement or paralysis.



