2 FAST 2 FURIOUS, stupid first sequel to The Fast And The Furious, ought to have been called by the cherished euphemism “Number Two”, bound for a flush. Paul Walker and supporting actor Thom Barry are the only returning cast members, with the plotline shifted to Miami Beach. Endless movement and noise provide zip for thrills, directed by John Singleton (the weakest, most aggressively juvenile entry on his résumé), trying to do something with the lazy junk Michael Brandt and Derek Haas called their script.
What deserves a serve? Cole Hauser makes an effective villain and Miami’s dappled environs provide a plethora of bikini-bedecked extras slinking or dancing to draw your attention from the gibberish spouted by the stars.
Expending $76,000,000 yielded $236,351,000 from octane inhalers around the fuel-flayed globe. Earning chunks of that money for wasting a piece of yours and being charmless doing it to boot: Tyrese Gibson, Eva Mendes, Ludacris, James Remar, Devan Aoki, Mark Boone Jr., Michael Ealy. 108 interminable minutes.