PARTING SHOTS, upon its release in 1999 almost instantly earned a reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. Of course, the rep came from flaying critics, so we here at Be Fair Central decided to look, judge and report. Before enduring watching we took notice that besides the critical brickbats there was zilch info on a box office performance, normally a red flag. Since the cast was littered with commendable players and a few faves, we gambled a bit of time (it lasts runs 99 minutes) chancing it might not be as bad as its rep. We report (notice ‘happily’ is absent) that while it might not be among the worst ever made—a wide cast net by any reasoning—it really is pretty terrible, lousy enough that we can say with confidence “We told you it sucked” if you insist on falling for it because of the actors or are just curious about junk. It was the last movie made by Michael Winner, who directed, wrote and produced. A glancing look at Winner’s bleak-natured filmography ought to give an idea about his ability to handle a black comedy.

London photographer ‘Harry Sterndale’ (Chris Rea) has cancer and maybe six weeks to live. Reflecting on his already ruined life (thrashed by wife, ‘friends’ and scams) he decides revenge—the mortal sort—might be a tasty main course for his collective last meal. Down they go, like targets in a shooting gallery. But any satisfaction stays with Harry and the mean-minded man who wrote and directed his story.

The characters are all distinctly unlikable, the visual palette is ugly (Winner efforts were rarely pleasing to the retina), non-actor Rea, 48—a Brit rock star in his first & only feature role—is a wet pancake, and laughs are nowhere to be found. The actors on hand work with professional skill, but they are in service of such a bland nothing it’s a real waste. In the cast: Diana Rigg, Oliver Reed, Bob Hoskins, Felicity Kendal, Ben Kingsley, John Cleese, Joanna Lumley, Peter Davison, Edward Hardwicke. They can’t save it, but you can save time by skipping this for almost anything else.