LISBON is a swell location for shooting a movie, the exotica of the setting for an adventure story involving smuggling and romance seems surefire. Alas, despite scenery, seasoned players and silky theme music this 1956 affair—shot “in Naturama“—can ultimately be summed up by its next-to-last line of dialogue: “I think things might be kind of dull.”

Cool customer ‘Robert John Evans’ (Ray Milland) poses as a fisherman but he’s known around the port as a smuggler (perfume from France, for example). Cultured Greek criminal ‘Aristide Mavros’ (Claude Rains) hires Evans to rescue the Commie-kidnapped rich American husband of Irish-born beauty ‘Sylvia Merrill’ (Maureen O’Hara): who’s in it for what, for real and for how much will eventually be revealed.

Milland also produced & directed (his second of five) yet for some reason he credited the former with ‘R.A. Milland’ and the later as ‘R. Milland’. As Ray the actor, 49, he’s calmly professional, and O’Hara, 35, is always a radiant treat in color. Rains casually knocks back another velvet-voiced villain: he’s introduced whacking a bird with a tennis racket and offering it to his cat with a mirthful “Breakfast?” *

Written by John Tucker Battle (Captain Eddie, The Frogmen) it holds a modicum of interest thanks to the cast, the views and Nelson Riddle’s music score, which makes ample use of “Lisbon Antigua”, a sleek number he had a hit instrumental record with. But too much talk and too little movement eventually defeats the concept, the chatter so civilized and safe it chokes off any excitement. When there’s finally some action (a clumsy hand-to-hand-fight) at least a bad guy gets offed with a flare pistol (cue Tyrone Power in Abandon Ship!) , a neato, rarely used disposal method.

A $2,000,000 take marked 136th place for the year. 91 minutes with supporting roles for Yvonne Furneaux, Francis Lederer, Jay Novello and Edward Chapman.

* O’Hara: “For the first time in my career I got to play the villain, and Bette Davis was right – bitches are fun to play.” This mediocre meller fit in with the glorious colleen’s seeming penchant for one-word titles: McLintock!, Tripoli, Bagdad, Malaga and the ill-fated Kangaroo. 1956 was extra-outfitted with no less than 24 one-word productions. Honest.