DRIVE A CROOKED ROAD—“He’s hooked. And when a little ugly guy like that gets hooked he gets hooked deep. The damage is done. So is it better to drag it out and let him suffer or hit him in the face with it and let him hate you all at once?”

Directed in 1954 by by Richard Quine, who adapted James Benson Nablo’s story “The Wheel Man”, with Blake Edwards writing the screenplay, this nifty noir item accomplishes its web & woe tale in 85 minutes, taking a hapless auto mechanic down a highway to hurt. What are the chances there’s a dame involved?

“Why don’t you go somewhere and pass out like a lady?”

‘Eddie Shannon’ (Mickey Rooney, 34) is a diligent auto mechanic who happens to have skill as a race car driver. Quiet and unassuming, he’s also naive to a fault and too lonely for his own good. When come-hither ‘Barbara’ (Dianne Foster, 25) flirts into his life, Eddie thinks maybe his luck has changed. Her friends ‘Steve’ (Kevin McCarthy) and ‘Harold’ (Jack Kelly) seem keen to get to know the nice little fella, too. Uh, what’s this jazz about a bank in Palm Springs?

Rooney’s once again faultless in a dramatic role, and Eddie’s decency can’t help but generate sympathy. Foster has one the better parts in her run, and McCarthy and Kelly make an appropriately swinish pair of hoodwinkers.

“You want something and so do I, but there’s a difference between us. You’re willing to wait and to hope that maybe someday you’ll get what you want, but I can’t wait. I know what happens when people wait.”

With Harry Landers, Paul Picerni, Jerry Paris and Mort Mills. A gross of $700,000 put it at #164 in ’54. Watch out for those flashed gams, pal. Just sayin’.