The Specialist


THE SPECIALIST—–directed by Luis Llosa (cousin to Mario Vargas Llosa, minus both magic and realism), taken from one of style-hopper John Shirley’s “Specialist” novels, this 1994 spy blowoff was a big hit, making $170,363,000, comfortably holstering a $45,000,000 tab.  Reviews were not as glimmering, in fact were downright damning,  giving stars Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone loud raspberries to go with their bulging collection. “Killing is his profession. Revenge is her goal. Together they take on the battle against the underworld of Miami.”  After mobsters wipe out her family, a woman seeks vengeance through a contract killer bomb-expert. Things blow up. Serious looks are exchanged.


Will the two buff stars have a steamy sex scene in between killings? Shall the script and direction be so tepid you will not care? Quote Stallone on their big grope-out: “OK. Let it be known, I didn’t want to do this scene because Sharon was not cooperating. We get to the set and she decides not to take her robe off. The director asks only a few of the crew to remain, and she still won’t take it off. I promised her I wouldn’t take any liberties, so what’s the problem? She said, ‘I’m just sick of nudity.’ I asked her if she could get sick of it on someone else’s film. She was having none of it, so I went down to my trailer, brought back a bottle of Black Death vodka that was given to me by Michael Douglas and after half-a-dozen shots we were wet and wild.”

Man’s gotta do…that much is true, yet, speaking from the bleachers, in a shower sex scene with those two, I really don’t want the camera to focus mainly on his buttocks.

The kind of junk food that has you swearing you will not eat it again. With James Woods, Rod Steiger and Eric Roberts. 110 minutes.


Just get me hammered and make sure the check has a lot of zero’s.



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