COLOMBIANA makes a kickass showcase for the physical fitness and screen presence of slim siren Zoe Saldana, and displays commensurate panache in the action direction from Robert Megaton (surely a fitting name for a cinema combat wrangler). It’s The Look that counts in this Highly Unlikely 2011 pulper, another body-count nihilism exercise, because the script’s situations and dialogue don’t elevate the absurdity of the story.
As a child in Bogota, ‘Cateleya’ witnesses her family murdered by drug dealers. She escapes (in a dizzying sequence) and grows up into a super-trained contract killer (Saldana) who –what else?–Vows Revenge. It gets dished out in a series of slick, amusing if ridiculous payback scenes that lose acceptance-pressure at about the halfway point through the 108 minutes.
Cinematography is aced (Romain Lacourbas), Zoe basically looks to kill for, and the girl-power theme pulled in $61,000,000 against a laydown of $35,000,000, with a sequel in the works. Not strong on rational analysis, but who tunes into this stuff for smarts? You watch to see sex-sizzler Saldana slaughter scumbags. Mission accomplished.
With Michael Vartan, Jordi Molla, Cliff Curtis, Lennie James and a bunch of guys who get wasted (via sharks, even) by our lean-muscled heroine. Producer & co-writer Luc Besson has a securely established thing for hot chicks who can out-kick, out-shoot and out-last, since he preceded this vengeance vixen with Le Femme Nikita (Annie Parillaud), Leon (Natalie Portman), The Fifth Element (Milla Jovovich) and Bandidas (Salma Hayek & Penelope Cruz). He followed this with Lucy (Scarlett Johansson). He really needs to make at least one movie about a serene grandmother who hums ‘Greensleeves’ while feeding deer.