BEWITCHED is something you will not be if you bumble into this ‘concept’ catastrophe. ‘Cursed’ is more like it. Almost every actress in Hollywood was considered for the role of ‘Samantha’ in Nora Ephron’s  2005 feature film obliteration of the fondly-remembered (and best left as that) 1964-72 TV series.

Nicole Kidman was the victim chosen. Game though she might be, here she is left to float, like a cast off sex doll with the batteries removed, in a cinematic swimming pool a-clog with industry-insider smugness (writer/director/producer Ephron), co-star Will Ferrell coarseness, and basically being twenty—forty?—years too little, too late.

Wasted along with Nikki: Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine, Kristen Chenoweth, Steve Carell (valiantly channeling Paul Lynde) and Stephen Colbert.  I watched this while hunkered in a Manila hotel during a Super-typhoon, and it almost drove me outside into the 100mph gusts. Reviewers (and fans of the series) were “not kind”, and the bacon take of $131,000,000 sank into what it needed to cover an $85.000,000 waste of 102 minutes.