OCEAN’S TWELVE brings the likable larcenists back, plus one. No longer a hendectet (look it up) but The Smirky Dozen. More, and MORE! More suave cast members. More sleek locations. More moola—to accommodate surged starpower and spiffy scenery, the scratch/sterling/shekels were upped from 2001’s Ocean’s Eleven by 29% to $110,000,000. More plot, so much more that it clutters up complexity with confusion, enough that before half of the 125 minutes are used you don’t much care whether the groovy gang pulls it off or not. Cool-looking trivia, flashy emptiness, it was 2004’s 14th most popular pic in the domestic market, swiping $125,500,000, scooping another $237,400,000 internationally.

TESS: “This is just so wrong.”  LINUS: “You mean like…morally?”  TESS: “Well…yeah I guess.”

The mark from their previous heist (Andy Garcia) wants his money back, and the threat of prison or having a safe accidentally fall on their head sends ‘Danny Ocean’ (George Clooney) back in action with the rest of the gleam team (Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Carl Reiner, Elliott Gould, Eddie Jamison and Qui Shaobo). Danny’s wife ‘Tess’ (Julia Roberts) makes twelve as they scout plush scam situations in the Netherlands (Amsterdam, The Hague), Italy (Rome, Lake Como, Sicily), France (Paris) and Monaco. They’re pursued by ace Europol agent ‘Isabel Lahiri’ (Catherine Zeta-Jones, elegant and then some), and contested by a Baron named ‘Francois Toulour (Vincent Cassel, sneer mode), arrogant master thief.

George Nolfi’s spiderweb script gets so convoluted that if you miss two minutes you’re lost, which means you can take a half hour break and pop back in just for the sleek visuals and shrug off involvement as the price of inoffensiveness. It gets a wee too smug when Roberts character has to “play” the real Julia Roberts and the kitchen sink brings in a cameo from Bruce Willis, as Bruce Willis. Albert Finney also has a cameo (not as himself), plus there’s snark business for Eddie Izzard and Robbie Coltrane.

Steven Soderbergh directed, so stylishness isn’t in doubt, and as usual he doubled as cinematographer (alias’d Peter Andrews). Levels of enjoyment/patience may go up & down depending on your individual approval or lack thereof for assorted cast members. From our cheap seat vantage point, it’s the weakest in the franchise. *

“You’re all aces in my book, but I want the last check I write to bounce.”

With Cherry Jones, Jeroen Krabbe, Jared Harris, Candice Azzara and Topher Grace.

                                      Coolest of the crew

* Franchise has been around for more than 700 years. Swell. Now find whoever started using that word regarding movies, tie them up, gag them and confiscate their money. Then make them watch fifty or sixty sequels in a row.