THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE, taken from a bestseller, has a surefire plot, was expertly done, got good reviews and has been remade twice. So why was it a dud at the box office? In 1974 the bucks stopped at 79th place, the $3,300,000 gross a veritable insult against a $5,000,000 budget. When it comes to Joe & Judy Public, this is a prime example of the everyday shrug doctrine “Go Figure” or the equally applicable “You Tell Me?” And you wonder that people vote for morons. Repeatedly. *

“Listen, fella, I hope you take this in the right spirit,but after this is over you should seek psychiatric help.”

New York City transit police ‘Lt. Zach Garber’ (Walter Matthau) drily informs a tour group from Tokyo, directors of their subway system, that “In the course of a normal work week, the average TA policemen deals with such crimes as robbery, assault, murder, drunkenness illness, vandalism, mishegas, abusiveness, sexual molestation, exhibitionism…” At about the same time, another visiting tourist, from England, calmly informs the crewmen and passengers on train 123 that “Now, then, ladies and gentlemen, do you see this gun? It fires 750 rounds of 9-millimeter ammunition per minute. In other words, if all of you simultaneously were to rush me, not a single one of you would get any closer than you are right now. I do hope I’ve made myself understood.”  This dead serious gentleman is ‘Mr. Blue’ (Robert Shaw), backed by ‘Mr. Green’ (Martin Balsam), ‘Mr. Grey’ (Hector Elizondo) and ‘Mr. Brown’ (Earl Hindman) and they want $1,000,000 delivered within one hour. Or they will begin killing the 18 hostages, one for every late minute.

Ramped tension, believable action, gallows humor and expertly sketched slices of the pressure cooked urban human pie (or steaming pile), race thru 104 minutes. The headlong momentum was directed by Joseph Sargent (his top work, he also did well by Colossus: The Forbin Project and Tribes), with a script by Peter Stone (along with Charade, his best), Owen Reizman’s you-are-right-there cinematography, precision editing (Gerald Greenberg and Robert Q. Lovett), all spurred out of the gate by David Shire’s edgy score. **

After eleven comedies in a row, Matthau’s deft juggle of wit and wariness wrapped a trifecta of crime ventures, commenced with the superb Charley Varrick, then the grim The Laughing Policeman. The foursome of blithely lethal hijackers are traced with individual distinction; Shaw’s icy cool, Balsam’s nervous worm, Elizondo’s smug viciousness, Hindman’s touch of dim-bulb pathos. Sargent selected a ripe gallery of ‘New Yawk’ “types”, including Tony Roberts, Dick O’Neil, Jerry Stiller, Tom Pedi and Kenneth McMillan, a full-court team effort down to every bit player. Battered by crime at the time, New York City’s image wasn’t being flattered on screen in Serpico, Law and Disorder and Death Wish.

GARBER: “Did you get that list of motormen who were discharged for cause I asked you to get?”    PATRONE: “Yeah, 78 names.”  GARBER: “78?”   PATRONE: “Yeah, but it’s not that bad. Eight are dead, 22 were rehired, 11 are in jail, 26 moved away, one’s in a mental institution, and another’s a member of the New York Police Department.”

“Gesundheit.” With Julius Harris, James Broderick, Nathan George, Doris Roberts, Mari Gorman (the feisty, take no s__ hooker), Rudy Bond, Conrad Yama. Director Sargent gave his wife Carolyn a neat bit as the passenger who tries to ‘will’ the hurtling 123 to stop.

* Done under his pseudonym John Godey, “The Taking Of Pelham One Three” was the 12th of 16 novels written by Morton Freedgood. 348 pages, the book was published the year before the film came out. The first remake was done for TV in 1988, the second in 2009 was  another feature picture. Despite star actors (Denzel Washington and John Travolta), that one also faltered at the box office, maybe because it wasn’t nearly as good and cost twenty-six times as much to make. Go figure.

**Cutting to the chase—editor Gerald Greenberg: The French Connection, Apocalypse Now, Scarface, The Untouchables, The Accused.