THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS, one of those gaudy ‘family of showbiz troupers’ sagas, was the 15th most popular entry in 1954, another Irving Berlin showcase (the year’s #1 hit also offered Berlin in White Christmas), this time set back in the 1920s thru 40s. Walter Lang directed a script by Phoebe & Henry Ephron. Flashy but flabby (117 minutes), given the old college try by the cast tackling a slew of song & dance routines.

‘The Five Donahues’ are a vaudeville tribe. There’s mama ‘Molly’ (Ethel Merman), pop ‘Terrance’ (Dan Dailey), sons ‘Tim’ (Donald O’Connor) and ‘Steve’ (Johnnie Ray) and daughter ‘Katy’ (Mitzi Gaynor). It’s bad enough that Steve decides to become a priest, but when Tim falls for Va-voom hatcheck girl ‘Vicky Parker’ (Marilyn Monroe) things get downright shaky. Can music bring’em together, or will it take World War Two?

The bland drama and weak gags are just place holders for 15 numbers that are spread across the CinemaScope frame. They’re the show’s obvious highlights, including an exuberant “Alexander’s Ragtime Band”  with O’Connor and Gaynor on fire (then Ray shows up: cringe alert), Monroe’s “Heat Wave” which gargled Ed Sullivan enough to croak it was “one of the most flagrant violations of good taste” he’d witnessed (well, it is tacky) and the title tune that was Merman’s signature applause-clause. They do fine except for Ray, who couldn’t act, couldn’t dance and when he gets to sing?—well, watching Ray ‘belt it out’ will make you realize why rock & roll was inevitable.

Oscar nominations were trotted out for Story, Music Score and Costume Design. Costs came to $4,300,000, grosses $12,900,000. With Richard Eastham, Hugh O’Brian, Frank McHugh, Rhys Williams, Billy Chapin, John Doucette, Alvy Moore, George Chakiris (unbilled dancer) and Lyle Talbot.