THE GREAT WALL, the king-sized 2016 man-against-beasts spectacle, like the real construction marvel it’s set around, somewhat mimicked the ancient model. Built over twenty centuries, the 13,170-mile fence did and still drops the most jaded of jaws, yet invaders eventually got past it. Built with $150,000,000, thousands of extras and CGI to the sky, the movie—despite dazzling enough eyes to rake a megaton of bread from fantasy fickle modern day barbarians—was just too big for its own armor. Huge grosses were not enough to hold back the accounting gremlins: with at least another $115,000,000 spent on marketing, earnings slammed into costs, bewailing a loss close to $75,000,000. Thus tagged a bomb, the flick got a bad rap, and de rigueur snorts of derision from eye-rolling reviewers who consider wonder a weakness. We’ll volunteer for safe-distance hero and defend the much maligned Wall: it’s great escapism. Great as in “fun!” *

China, around a thousand years ago. Two European mercenaries (Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal) escape bandits only to end up captured by troops at a section of the mighty Great Wall of China. The prisoner pickle is shortly replaced by peril from battle as they join the wall’s garrison in trying to repel invasion from the legendary ‘Tao Tie’, a seemingly endless horde of rapacious lizard creatures, big as elephants, fast as cheetahs, smart as ants, hungry as bears. Among the wall’s defenders is ‘Commander Lin Mae’ (Jing Tian), beautiful and fearless. Suspicions about the foreigners ultimate intentions (stealing the secret of gunpowder), Lin and her valiant comrades welcome the extra combat skills of the visitors. Battle stations!

The estimable Zhang Yimou directed, warming up for this monster of a monster movie by helming epics like Hero, House Of The Flying Daggers and Curse Of The Golden Flower. For sheer size and ambition those impressive actioners wilt next to the audacious scope, giddy energy and imaginative extravagance rolled out for this whopper.

Damon and Pascal have the buddy vibe locked and fighting badass stature loaded, and smartly don’t curse it with cuteness. Tian is a marvelous action heroine, and the supporting cast is sturdy, with a devious Willem Dafoe as another uninvited guest from the west. The CGI effects can’t help but be obvious but are so wildly lavish and the action is so furious that their artificiality doesn’t detract but rather hearkens back to how old-fashioned special effects held charm for audiences of yore. The live-action full-scale production embellishments—stunning costume design, carefully detailed art direction, array of props (nifty weapons), glowing cinematography and novel desert locations—all rate high marks. Boosted by an exciting music score from Ramin Djawadi (Game Of Thrones), the melees are spectacular, and that dive off the wall by Commander Lin and her ‘Crane Troop’ girls is a memorable thrill.

Having read it was a tanker, your humble scout sat down for this expecting a snore, and instead almost broke the lever on the lounger, giddily exclaiming “Sorry, but that is totally cool!” Snobs can sue me. The worldwide gross was $334,934,000, of which a mere $45,900,000 came from the States, only managing 74th place in 2016, where parents skipped this and dragged their children to the sour soullessness of Suicide Squad.

Written, with nothing to be ashamed of, by Carlo Bernard, Tony Gilroy and Doug Miro. With colorful turns by wall defenders Andy Lau, Zhang Hanyu, Lu Han, Kenny Lin and Eddie Peng. 103 minutes.

* Is the wonder-appreciating kid in you completely vanquished by cynicism? Shame to the snide. Meanwhile, back at The Wall—China’s miracle of brick, granite and marble would not protect them from the sea and loot-lusting representatives from the ‘civilized’ West.